no nome nohow Say, "NO!", Wymsey! no nome nohow
NO! to Gnomes!

the official site of the Wymsey No Nomes Nohow Campaign - no tack in 2000


What Can I do? Supportive statements the pics

a story too far:

Millennium Decision - it's a giant gnome: Wymsey Parish Council yesterday confirmed their choice for the Wymsey Millennium Statement - a 350 high inflatable gnome which is to be funded, at a cost of 250,000, by the Rural2000 Development Fund. The decision which is bound to be controversial was made in a closed session of the Council on Wednesday evening. A press release indicated that competition had been stiff and that an offer by the winning design team, Plastik Fabrik Konstructon GMBH of Duttlehammar, to refurbish the Village Hall had not been a deciding factor.
Plastik Fabrik Con is one of Europe's leading PVC implementation companies and a spokes person for the Company told the Chronicle that plans would be made available to the public during January. Asked about the effect upon the Green the Chronicle was informed that a special raised wooden floor would be used to minimise wear and tear. He also told us that the Earth Ecology Unit at the University of Watchester (UWAT) were being asked to carry out an Environmental Impact Assessment as well as a plant analysis so that the Green could be appropriately reseeded early in the Spring of 2001.
Questioned about aircraft from RAF Watchester the spokes person said that at 100ft intervals there would be a red light at each of the cardinal points of the compass and on top of the Gnome's head.
Construction of the Millennium Gnome will begin in August and it will fully functional in time for the celebrations on New Years Eve, 1999. The Gnome will be deflated on New Years Eve, 2000.

Gnome Unveiled Amidst Royals Shock: German PVC artist Gelda Sprongstein, commissioned by Plastik Fabrik Con GMBH to design the Wymsey Millennium Statement, yesterday revealed her impression of the Gnome. Ms Sprongstein stated that the 356 foot tall Gnome would have a carbon fibre frame and be anchored by 27 half inch (12.5mm) steel guy ropes painted red, white and blue. A 400kw air compressor would be used to maintain inflation and there would be 12 airlocked entrances and exits.
It was also revealed yesterday that no members of the Royal Family would be available to open the Millennium Gnome on New Year's Eve 1999, this news was bitterly received by the Parish Council who now have the difficult task of finding a suitable celebrity to perform this important function.

gnome haters threaten sitdown: "Tacky, tasteless, insulting and New Trash" were just some of the descriptions heaped upon the Wymsey Millennium Statement at last week's Parish Council Meeting. Major General Barking-Barking was in apoplectic form and at times had to be physically restrained by fellow Council members, the general and two other Members, John Applegate and Gordon deStompe are fervently opposed to the Gnome. Mr deStompe told the Chronicle, "This is crass, tasteless and typical of the dumbing down Wymsey has been experiencing since this pack of show business obsessed smoothies took control of the Parish. What we want is democracy not pvc gnomes."

Mr deStompe informed the Meeting, to loud cheers from the public, that the people of Wymsey had formed NNN (No Nome Nohow, sic) and were prepared to take their protest to the village green where they would encamp to prevent construction of the gnome.

Camp Grows & Grows: At the latest count over 100 tents are pitched on the Green with people coming to Wymsey from all over England. A ten person delegation from the Dutch Millennium No Big Deal (MNBD) arrived by bicycle on Tuesday and on Monday a small group from Y2KYAWN arrived from Glasgow.

The major TV companies have all sent crews and Jeremy Paxman hosted a 10 minute feature for Newsnight. Local radio station, UWAT FM, having been running their nightly 'Dance 'til Dawn' programme from the camp.

What of the enemy? Julius Blaah, as usual, has his head in the sand and is destined to get a kick in the butt at next Thursdays byelections. The NNN candidates are standing unopposed so are bound to win all three seats but a good turnout will send a message to those who want the millennium to be marked by a plastic gnome.

NNN Marches In Protest: Monday, April 26th. County Hall, Watchester, was the destination of the NoNomes NoHow Protest March in which over 500 people and assorted mongrel dogs took part. Protest march In side County Hall the Planning Committee were considering the lack of planning permission for the Gnome. The marchers were angry but well behaved.

Earlier, Councilor Julius Blaah had sought to have the march and protest banned claiming it was unconstitutional in the run up to Parish Elections. Chief Constable, Sir Arbothnot Ayrloam OBE, reluctantly disagreed with the Councilor and decreed that the Protest could go ahead (not that he could have stopped the groundswell of Wymsonion opprobrium once it was on the streets).

Victory! Monday, June 13th, 1999. There was dancing on the Green this week when, on Wednesday, it was announced that Wymsey Parish Council announced their decision to abandon plans to celebrate the upcoming Millennium with the proposed 350 feet high Gnome. Campaign leaders were jubilant as protesters began to pack and clean up the Green. Many Groups and Organisation took part and/or supported NNN (see Roll of Honour, below), we would particularly like to acknowledge the support of the Wymsey Chronicle and UWAT FM 109.5

NNN Roll of Honour
We thank the following organisation and groups for their support during the anti-gnome campaign:

AAGS - Anarchists Against Gnomes - thanks for your input.
BAGS - Bankers Against Gnomes - thank you.
CAGS - Cuba Against Gnomes - fraternal thanks, comrades.
COAGS - Composters Against Gnomes - we couldn't have done it without you.
DAGS - Divers Against Gnomes - they diverted the Bitstream.
EAGS - Evangelicals Against Gnomes - thanks for the smiles, you two!
FAGS - Fathers Against Gnomes - they dug the pits and ran the creche.
GAGS - Gardeners Against Gnomes - these guys were militant
HAGS - Horticulturists Against Gnomes - these too!
IAGS - Intellectuals Against Gnomes - thanks for the framework guys.
J-JAGS - Japanese Jesuits Against Gnomes - a whole coach load!
LAGS - Lesbians Against Gnomes - thanks sisters.
MAGS - Mothers Against Gnomes - great raffle!
MNBD - Millennium No Big Deal - they cycled from Amsterdam!
NAGS - Neurosurgeons Against Gnomes - cheers, Jeremy & Rupert.
OLAGS - Old Lags Against Gnomes - thanks for the education!
PAGS - Pensioners Against Gnomes - we loved all those old stories.
QUAGS - Quorns Against Gnomes - we'll miss you!
RAGS - Rotundians Against Gnomes - they did the heavy work.
SAGS - Surgeons Against Gnomes - thanks for the first aid tent.
TAGS - Teachers Against Gnomes - we won't forget those workshops!
UWAGS - University of Watchester Against Gnomes.
UWAT FM - Great Sounds you guys.
VAGS - Vegetarians Against Gnomes - lovely stews.
WAGS - Weeders Against Gnomes - here's to short tap roots!
YAGS - Yachtsmen Against Gnomes - thanks Gordon & Serge.
Y2KYAWN - those Good Ol' Glasgow Boys.
ZAGS - Zoologists Against Gnomes.

What you can do
  • write to the Parish Council.
  • write to the European Commission - it's their money.
  • Support NNN with time and donations.
  • Support the NoNome Camp to be established on the Green if they don't back down soon.
  • Join our telephone tree.
  • Tell all your friends.

  • Messages of Support

    From the Editor of the Wymsey & District Chronicle:The Wymsey Chronicle normally bends over backwards to remain neutral on controversial local issues but in this instance the Editor and Board cannot but agree that the Parish Council's chosen way of celebrating the Millennium is tacky, an obscene waste of money and an insult to the intelligence of us all.

    May we also inform readers that certain, off the record, threats have been made to this newspaper concerning our access to certain sources of information and advertising revenues. We will not be intimidated! In fact, we will be putting the full might of our resources behind the NNN campaign.

    From Cuba: Dear Free People of Wymsey,
    Greetings from the peoples of one struggling Island to the peoples of another! We, your brothers in the name of taste, rejoice at your stand against plastic imperialism and the machinations of the multinationals.

    We will prevail! We are sending three of our best agents to assist your plotting.
    fraternally yours,
    Constananz del San Sebastion y Corrodus

    From Australia:
    Dear Sir,
    My father and I would like to communicate our absolute horror and dismay at the Wymsey Parish Council's plans to erect a 350 ft gnome as part of the Millennium celebrations. The phrase "tasteless in the extreme" springs to mind. We sincerely hope that the No Nomes Nohow candidates prevail at the council elections in May. We do understand that the Millennium Gnome would provide a valuable tourist attraction - every idiot from miles around with an air rifle will flock to see it. Indeed, my father already has his flight booked, should the plans go ahead. But we feel that a giant PVC gnome is hardly likely to attract the sorts of tourists likely to appreciate the thriving and complex village culture existing in Wymsey.
    Yours sincerely,
    Phyllis Euglena.

    NNN on the Green, the pics:

    more tents tents on green

    portaloo mornings

    Thanks to everyone who supported NNN!


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